One Thing After Another

 Years ago, when I worked in a special education program for students on the Autism Spectrum, we spent a great deal of time helping them move through transitions. Shifting from one activity to the next, particularly if it meant moving from a high interest to a less favored activity, was a struggle for our students. Things went far more smoothly if we could predict what was next and remind students that it would soon be time to change classes or activities. Helping students shift their focus and manage changes to routine made me realize my own issues with disruption and transitions. As a working mom with young children and a long commute, I remember how helpful it was for me to pull into the driveway, turn off the car, and just sit and be still for a few moments before heading through the door. I loved my kids and their energy, but I also instinctively knew I needed a moment to collect myself and switch gears from work to home life.  

For some people, transitions and unpredictability don’t seem to bother them, but I continue to struggle to make big shifts quickly. As I get older, I’m recognizing that I still need that processing time to move from one activity or place to another. I like to know what’s coming next, and I get irritated and defensive if people start questioning me, making demands of my time, or expecting me to respond immediately upon arrival. 

Something about the pace of our lives, the rate that changes are happening, and the not-so-subtle messaging to hurry up and master new skills or get left behind, simply leaves me feeling off balance and resistant. Whether it is the speed of technology or the fast-paced emergence of AI, the focus is constantly about getting more done and doing it all more efficiently. I have to actively step back and remind myself that most things simply are not emergencies and not all that urgent. Certainly, a few seconds to breathe and be a bit more thoughtful about responding should be normal! I know all of this. I try to pause and breathe and respond rather than react. Yet time and again, I find myself moving at a pace that feels exhausting; rushing about, making mistakes, and just being forgetful and clumsy in my efforts to hurry. When I am rushing or trying to juggle activities and multi-task, the typical result is I start dropping things, misplacing things, or even end up physically bumping into walls as I scurry around! It’s ridiculous.  

On a daily basis, I need to stop. To set it all down. To simply slow my breath and my pace. I have to laugh at myself, as all the words I share with my yoga students about finding stillness, taking time, and being focused and aware of the present moment are the same words and lessons I need on a constant basis. I have admitted to my students that the themes I choose for yoga classes are often ones that need attention in my own life, yet I wonder if they realize that I struggle mightily with the demands and pressures of the day, just as they do. 

I guess both yoga and life are full of surprises, transitions, and change. We’ll never completely master it all, and we’ll never be perfect. There will always be more to do and more to learn and experience. Practicing the art of the pause and allowing myself to simply do one thing at a time without having to anticipate what comes next becomes a gift I give to myself. My shoulders drop, some tension releases, my focus improves, and I can move through the day and all it requires with a more deliberate sense of purpose and clarity.  

Change is constant. Time moves quickly. Those things are true. Yet the beauty of life is in the details: in the tiny, everyday moments that delight me or surprise me. I can slow down, take my own advice, and make decisions from a place that feels calm and clear, so I don’t end up rushing past the good stuff.  Life is truly one thing after another. My job is to simply ride it all out.

When A Teacher Dies

 An old high school friend of mine sent a note out this week about a favorite high school teacher’s death. As I started down memory lane and began reflecting on what it was that made this particular teacher so loved by so many, I was struck by what I recalled so clearly: his own love of learning, and the delight and joy he seemed to find in teaching and just being with his students.  

I would never want to go back and re-live my high school days, as I remember them as being a rollercoaster of emotions: full of tons of fun and laughter with friends, along with plenty of cringe-worthy behavior that was at times wildly out of control and full of my own self-doubt. As a high school student, I moved through awkward phases of pimples, trying to find a place to fit in with friends, getting a driver's license (after puking twice before my road test), and riding a wave of mood swings and general adolescent angst. 

Through it all, a few beloved high school teachers were a relaxed, calm, and quiet presence. My favorite teachers all seemed perfectly at home with my weirdness and attention seeking behavior. Looking back, some memories make me uncomfortable as I know I was occasionally rude, loud, and at times just generally a pain in the ass during those years. Somehow, I always knew certain teachers had high standards related to academic work, but they also seemed to care about me with a soft grace, even when I was not always at my best. 

I’m guessing that most people can recall one or two favorite teachers from their youth. Teachers who taught us both important academic lessons alongside lessons about how to be good humans. Being out of the high school classroom now for more years than I care to admit, I don’t remember much algebra or mythology or the grades I received. But I do remember how certain teachers made me feel. They were able to inspire, challenge, and accept me without judgment. Maybe they knew on some level how much self-doubt was already there inside me and recognized that even a high achieving kid needed some quiet acceptance and encouragement that would eventually help me settle down and thrive. 

I did send a note to Mr. Melchoir (the favorite teacher who passed this week) a few years back, and I know some of my classmates visited and kept in touch with him. He knew he was loved and that his work had an impact. I hope he wasn’t the exception to the rule, and that other teachers out there have heard words of thanks and praise from former students.  

Education is a tough business to be in these days. What if the takeaway at the end of another school year is this simple message: that we always have the choice to share our thanks and take a moment to appreciate what our teachers have meant to us.  

Can you imagine the wave of goodwill that would occur if we all took 5 minutes this week to send a text, a card, or called one of our former teachers simply to tell them thank you?  

Let’s make it our homework assignment this week. Say thank you to your kid’s teacher on the last day of school. Tell your neighbor who is a schoolteacher that you appreciate their efforts. Find a former teacher of yours and share a simple ‘thank you for being my teacher’ or whatever words of appreciation feel most appropriate. 

Finally, the next time you hear someone complaining about or disparaging the work of teachers, shake your head, softly disagree, and tell them about your favorite teacher: who likely saved you when you felt lost, and made a true difference in your life. 

The Year of the Horse

Random thoughts to ponder for a new year that already feels like a wild ride

When February 17 arrived and the lunar Chinese calendar moved into The Year of the Horse (Fire Horse to be exact!), I admit I was intrigued. I’ve never paid attention before to the various names of the years, but horses are amazing animals, so I guess I was curious about what the new year might represent. The idea of a fast-paced, changeable, intense year of transformation certainly brings a mix of apprehension and excitement. 

Nearly three weeks into the Year of the Horse, I finally have some time to catch my breath. Here are a couple of thoughts and questions I’m asking myself (and sharing with all of you) as I head into this fast-paced and high energy year. 

When you ride a horse, the pace can vary widely. A horse can be ridden at full speed in a race, or at a leisurely trot, but there is always movement. Over the course of this next year, what kind of movement do you want to look back on and see in your life? Will you race through the year or take your time? 

Horses are deeply intuitive animals. There’s a reason why horses are now used in retreats or in healing and therapy environments. You can’t fake it around a horse. Is there something in your life you’ve been pretending about, or are you denying an emotion or issue that needs to be addressed? 

If you’ve never been on a horse before, it’s best to get some training and instruction as a new rider. What is coming up this year that you need to prepare for? Are there some new skills you’ll need to move forward? 

If you’re going to saddle up, you need the right gear. No one lasts long on horseback in shorts and flip flops! How can you be planful and have the right equipment and tools as you move through this year of change and transformation? 

Don’t put the cart before the horse. So often, we have an end goal or objective in mind, but to get there, we usually have some work to do first. Completing the ride to our destination means no shortcuts. We have to take the reins and navigate through obstacles in order to achieve our goals. What work or tasks are yours to do so you can journey effectively and feel proud of your efforts?   

As the Year of the Horse unfolds, take time to be intentional, choose your pace, and be persistent. As you gain better riding skills, you’ll be able to meet the year’s intensity and fall into a rhythm that is steady and strong. Whether you make it to your goal or not, seek to feel good about the ride.  Be deliberate and prepared as you meet the unexpected in a year that will likely bring big change, high energy, and spirited growth. 

There are SO many horse themed expressions and sayings. I’d love to hear what comes to mind for you as you consider the Year of the Horse. 

As always, thanks for reading!