Self Care

May is Mental Health Awareness Month! I thought I'd share a few thoughts on self care as a way to address our mental health and overall wellness.

When people are asked about what good self care looks like, they often mention activities: getting a massage, taking a bubble bath, going out for a walk, or taking a nap. While all of these can be helpful self care pursuits, the bottom line is that self care is not a 'one and done.' Self care needs to be the habits and routines we develop over time, so when things really do get rocky and we're feeling depleted, we have some habits behind us that can sustain us and see us through. If you're like me, when you're feeling overwhelmed and out of gas, it is not the time to consider adding something new....you're just trying to get through the day!

Here's an example: most of us have a habit of brushing our teeth for a minute or 2 each morning and evening. We do this because we want to maintain our teeth and have a pleasant smile. If we end up one day with a flu that has our energy down to a nub, we may lay in bed and skip our toothbrushing routine. When we start feeling better, we get right back to brushing our teeth, because we've missed it (maybe those around us have missed it too!). Our teeth brushing is a non-negotiable healthy habit that is sustainable and important for us. Overall self care needs to be the same. Not just something we do occasionally to rest and release tension, but something that we do that is sustainable over time. 

So, in this month of May, take some time to consider: what do I love to do that brings me energy, joy, and a sense of good health? It may be some kind of exercise routine, or a journaling habit, or time to get together with friends or family. Make time for things you love and activities you can use on a regular basis to fill your own personal gas tank. 

May you be well!

 Lessons on emotions

I was reading an article yesterday on Mother's Day and the topic was messages and words we heard from our mothers when we were small. I started thinking about my own growing up. I remember being held to strong standards and expectations, but I feel blessed that I never faced harsh criticism or the put downs or name calling that some kids lived with and experienced. What I do remember is the strong message I received about anger being a negative thing. "Oh, don't be so angry" was a common refrain in my household growing up. I'm not sure why, but anger was the one emotion that was really not accepted and was quickly shut down. I'm not sure if it was part of not "talking back" or arguing with my parents, or if there was a larger discomfort with anger itself. I just figured out pretty quickly that being mad and angry was not pleasing or accepted.

As a result, I have had to take time as an adult to learn how to be angry in appropriate ways. Lashing out and being too passionate about certain subjects has certainly gotten me into hot water in the past. I also know that I actively avoided conflict and hard conversations that had the potential to make someone angry whenever possible. Imagine my surprise when as a young therapist at a conference, I heard for the first time that an appropriate response to anger in others was "You're really angry." Yikes. Talk about just naming it and calling that emotion out, just as it is!

What emotions are difficult for you to express or sit with? You might be wondering, what on earth does this have to do with yoga? I believe that my yoga practice helps me regulate my emotional state and safely explore all facets of my being. Through breath work and new postures that are challenging and not as simple as they look, I learn that sometimes my assumptions are incorrect. I get reminded over and over again about the need to be flexible and open minded. When I can 'be with' all of my thoughts and emotions on the mat, I find I can see them through a lens of compassion and less judgment. I no longer have to accept the idea of 'oh, don't feel that way' or other messages that somehow tell me my emotions are anyone else's business but mine.

Progress!

Yesterday, I completed the first draft of my reflections book! For me, this was HUGE! Writing a daily reflection book has been an idea of mine for years, so to finally have a draft completed, is an amazing accomplishment for me. Of course, so much remains. I still have re-writes to do. Then the big learning curve about editors, publishing, selling books, etc!

My goal with the book is to bring something useful to my yoga students and fellow yoga teachers. Every yoga class ends in savasana or final relaxation. In my Yoga Moodra classes, I have always included a quote or short reflection as my students are entering their relaxation time. My hope is to provide some small bit of inspiration or wisdom that students can ponder in the last few minutes of class on their mats.

I'll keep you all posted as the book develops and when I am ready to share it with you. There have been so many moments of interesting coincidences, new ideas, and gentle nudgings from the universe that tell me to keep going with this creative effort. 

Peace!